The AntiPlural
by Casteline
Summary: On hiatus. In which pointless discussions revolve loosely around plurals and their inverses.
1. Tomatoes

**Title:** _The Anti-Plural_

**Summary:** _In which pointless discussions revolve loosely around plurals and their inverses. _

**Authors:** _Ella-the-crash-test-dummy and candlewick866_

**Disclaimer: **_If I owned them, would I really be wasting my time on writing about them on here?_

**Authors Note: **Completely pointless. Also, in my opinion, this story is about ten times better if you could see the original hard copy of it. It has random little doodles in the corners and us making fun of each other and… its just better. I might end up archiving it eventually.

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**Chapter One:** _Tomatoes_

_In which no one can remember what's-his-face's name_.

Lorelai walked into the diner with her face scrunched up in the way that meant she was contemplating something. Luke had her coffee poured almost before she sat down and so in lieu of something else to say, she voiced her dilemma. 

"Luke, are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?"

"What?"

"Are to-ma-toes fru-its or veg-ie-ta-bles?" every syllable was carefully over-enunciated.

"How should I now that?"

"Luke, I'm surprised at you! Are you a foodie or not?"

"Foodie?"

"You work in a diner. Foodie-ness is just expected?"

"Foodie-ness?"

"I'm going now. You were no help."

"Whatever," he muttered. Then, just as she reached for the doorknob, he added, "Hey, why don't you ask what's-his-face?"

"What's-his-face?"

"Yeah… you know… um… the guy."

"Which one Luke? I'm sorry to break it two you, but there are a lot of those around here."

"You know… the produce guy. The one who married what'-her-face?"

"Whose face?"

"The one that cooks."

"Someone cooks with there face?"

"No. With their hands. You know, the one with kids?"

"The produce guy who cooks with his hands and is married to a lady who has a face and kids?"

"No. The produce guy who is married to the lady who cooks and they both have faces and kids."

"Oh," Lorelai said, nodding as though she finally understood. "What… what?"

"The guy! The one with the produce."

"Thank you Luke. You cleared that up wonderfully." Shaking her head in confusion, she walked out of the diner muttering intently.

Luke, annoyed that he could not remember those names, was thinking hard about the predicament.

"LUKE!" Babettes high voice interrupted, accompanied seconds later by a cry of pain from Kirk.

"Oops," Luke looked down at the cup of coffee between himself and Kirk. It had been filled way passed its limit and was overflowing onto the table, napkins, and, of course, Kirk.

"Sorry," Luke said, setting the pot of coffee down and reaching for the napkins as the phone began to ring.

"Luke's," he answered, using his shoulder to hold the phone to his year as he cleaned up the mess.

"Sookie and Jackson!" the voice on the other end of the line exclaimed.

"Thank you. That would have driven me insane."

"By Luke." She hung up the phone, completely appalled that he had managed to forget something so simple.

"Ask Jackson," she muttered to herself as she started towards Sookie's.

Halfway there she stopped. "Wait… what was the question?"

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**_More coming soon. In the meantime..._**

**_Review!_**

**_♥Ella_**


	2. Miïse

**Here's chapter two. It's short, I know, but it's filled with complete and utter randomness.**

**Chapter Two: **_Miïse _

_In which we have another 'insightful' conversation with Luke _

"But that doesn't make sense," Lorelai exclaimed as she and Rory entered the diner. 

"I'm sorry but that's just the way it is, I can't do anything to change it. Neither can you."

"But I want to."

"What are you two arguing about?" Luke asked, carrying over two mugs and a pot of coffee.

"The plural of moose," Lorelai replied as though it should have been obvious.

"Isn't it moose?" he asked.

"EXACTLY!"

Luke looked at her like she was crazy (though in his opinion, she must have been) as he poured her a cup of coffee.

"Mom doesn't like the fact that the plural is the same as the singular," Rory explained.

"Right," Luke nodded skeptically.

"Think about it. A lonely moose or a herd of moose. Its like saying a head of… I don't know, dog. A herd of dog. That sounds retarded. Am I right or am I right?"

"And it couldn't have anything to due with the fact that you are referring to a bunch of 'dog' as a herd."

"What do you know? You're just a diner owner."

"Fine, ignore my wisdom."

"Fine, I will," Lorelai stuck her tongue out at him.

Luke rolled his eyes and turned to walk away.

"Out of curiosity," he said, turning back to the Lorelai's

"Miïse," they replied in unison, though the older was grinning maniacally, while the younger rolled her eyes.

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**_More coming soon. In the meantime..._**

**_Review!_**

**_♥Ella_**


	3. Apocali

**Chapter Three: **_Apocali_

_In which there is a heated debate about a pointless topic no one really gives a crap about._

"There has to be a plural!"

Luke felt the slightest inkling of déjà vu as Lorelai and Rory walked into the diner.

"By definition, it only happens once, therefore there's no need for a plural."

"What about Buffy? It happened like a hundred times!"

"More like seven," Rory corrected.

"Whatever. The blonde saved the world a lot."

"What are you two talking about now?" Luke asked, pouring them coffee.

"The plural of apocalypse," Lorelai informed him.

"There is no plural. It only happens once," he pointed out.

"What about Buffy?"

"What?"

"She had to stop the apocalypse like a hundred times."

"SEVEN!" Rory exclaimed.

"There were way more than seven. There was the master, Acathla," she began to count off on her fingers,"The mayor, that whole thing with the Word of Valios, Glory, Willow then the First."

"Mom," Rory began.

"Yeah?"

"That was seven."

Lorelai looked down at her fingers. "Oh." She turned back to Luke. "She had to stop the apocalypse like seven times!" Luke and Rory both stared at her. "Seven is plural!"

"You have got to be kidding me," he rolled his eyes and walked away.

"There should be a plural of apocalypse."

"Prove to me you can use the plural of apocalypse eight times this week and I will contact the little bald me at Webster's myself," Rory bargained.

"Deal." Lorealy smiled. This would be easy.

"Wait…" she said a moment later. "What is the plural of Apocalypse?"

"There isn't one!" Luke shouted from the kitchen.

"Apocalypses? Apocalypsee? Apocalypto? Apocali? Yeah, Apocali."

"Wonderful," Luke muttered.

"Isn't it?"

"Did you ask what's-his-face about the thing?"

"Ask who about what?" Lorelai replied, completely confused.

Reviews are purdy :)

Ella


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